BRAIN: Serve the volleyball to their back left player.
BODY: Cool. Now What?
BRAIN: Assume defensive back right position.
BODY: Done. Now what? Bring it on, bitches!
(Time elapsed: 00:00:02)
2014: (hypothetical)
BRAIN: The serve is low, powerful, and coming right toward us -- drop to your knees, QUICK!
BRAIN: The serve is low, powerful, and coming right toward us -- drop to your knees, QUICK!
BODY: You want me to do WHAT?
BRAIN: Quick! Hurry up! It's our ball! Knees -- NOW!
BODY: LMAO -- Dude, you crack me up!
BRAIN: GO! NOW!!!!
BODY: Yeah. Uhhh.... Not happening.
BRAIN: Too late -- DIVE!
BODY: Whoa! What a spike! Man, that would've HURT!
BRAIN: Body, NEVER MIND. Too late. Go get the ball. It's in the stands behind us. Mouth, say, "Sorry -- my bad," to our teammates. Oh, and, Body, you SUCK.
(Time elapsed: 00:00:12)
See? There is no time for this kind of conversation on the volleyball court. That's why, for our school district's staff volleyball tournament Saturday afternoon, I kept score for the north court. I enjoyed it. And I had a back ache Sunday morning. From being a scorekeeper.
